The unlucky #13

Welcome to the Issue #13 of The Blend ☕!

In this issue, I’d like to say sorry—to you, and to myself as well—because I’ve let myself down by not sticking to my resolutions.

When I started this newsletter I told myself that this it - I enjoy writing, and as I’ve written in one of the issues “writing is thinking”. I am good at it, yet I stopped doing it.

For years now I’ve been fighting severe migraines, 2024 was a transforming year in that regards. I have found a great neurologist, and we are trialing different medications to make sure the headaches are gone. I am not yet in place where I can say they are gone, but I am definitely in a better spot at the moment.

In 2024 I’ve also changed my job and slightly pivoted in a different direction, as my role now is in Operations, not Technology. Yet I still think that everything that I’ve learnt still applies here as well. Do I miss working with engineering team, building a product? Yes, I do, I can’t lie. This role gives me much broader perspective on how companies are built, plus the venture building framework is super interesting.

I’d like to flip the cards on the unlucky #13

My topic for today is going to be feedback, BUT not how to give, what to say, or how to gather it… this time I’d like to focus on receiving one. Every manager is being taught how to use non violent communication, how to be more empathic etc. but we are never learning how to receive feedback from others.

We all know frameworks like “Sh*t sandwich”, we try our best to be empathic and make sure other side feels heard. But were you ever taught how to act when receiving one?

The bright side? Most folks are so bad at taking feedback that you just need to be slightly less awful to stand out!

The reason that most of the managers are burnet out is due to the fact, that they are afraid… of how the other person will react! It’s a huge pressure on mental health, and it in the end it creates unhealthy environment, when people are not entirely honest. According to Hardward Business Review (Link to the article) 2/3 of managers are terrified of giving their direct reports tough feedback because they're worried about the reaction they'll get 🤯…

Let that sink in… almost 2/3!

Alway assume positive intent

That’s actually one of my core rules at work. I always assume positive intent, no matter what. You can check out my Personal User Manual and see what are other rules worth applying - as my reader, you’ll get it for free, use coupon BETTERMANAGER100 to get 100% off. Personal user manual is a great way to share your values and work ethic with your team.

Let’s start with the fact that feedback is a gift 🎁 and always should be treated this way. Turn your defensiveness into curiosity. Try to understand what makes this person feel this way. Once they tell you, try to repeat in your own words to them, making sure you understood them correctly, and that you are on the same page.

Body language and atmosphere

To get honest feedback, look the part. Avoid raising eyebrows, looking shocked, or appearing upset—this shuts people down. Stay calm, sit up straight, and lean in slightly. Show you value and respect their input.

We're not focusing on how the other person could improve their feedback. Instead, focus on how you can encourage honesty. When receiving feedback, reward the person by creating psychological safety and making the conversation positive, so they look forward to it next time. This is how you build lasting connection, and encourage honesty in the team.

Until next time 👋